A little more, yes. 

Known issue; we've been asking for a fix for some time now.

All the factions do this, and it is indeed a problem.

how good are refineries? they don't seem to give that much of a boost even when placed between two planets with extractors on them

Refineries are good in some situations.  As a general rule of thumb, you should build them so they affect at least 12 extractors.  If you're low on credits, you probably want to go with trade ports instead.  However, if you're low on metal or crystal, these are great alternatives. 

You may have to pay as much as 5 credits to buy 1 metal or crystal from the black market, so even if they give a small benefit, it's going to take a lot of pressure of your credit income even if the numbers look very small.

Just remember that refineries only stack up to three times, so you can't build them all over the place.  Find one or two good locations and put your refineries there.

so according to https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/389170, it is best to have capitals stay out of the main battle, does this mean ive been doing it wrong by grouping capitals with the majority of my fleet and using them in the middle of the fighting

This depends on the situation.  For small fleets, you probably don't need to worry.  Hoshikos and Overseers in particular (or an Advent player with a Progenitor) can help you keep your capital ships healthy even while under fire.  For big fleets, if you're not prepared to take capital ship casualties, then yes, you will need to keep them on the sidelines.

I play both ways.  When my capital ships are kept on the side, I do not feel confident that I can protect them or that I can afford to lose them.  When I have them in the thick of battle, I'm either confident that I can protect them (early-game), or I'm prepared to replace them if they die (late-game).  It's a very difficult gambit, but it can be very effective.

Early-game, capital ships can survive with a combination of repairs and good maneuvering.  Once large forces of LRF or bombers emerge, however, this is no longer easy.  You will need to very carefully maneuver your ships to keep them alive.  For most of the game, this is how it plays out, and capital ships are on the run.  Late-game, this changes.  Losing a 3000 credit capital ship is no longer a potentially game-ending event.  With fleets of hundreds of frigates, it can become a normal operating cost, commonplace in those massive battles.  You can actually afford to use your capital ships aggressively, especially if you make the enemy pay for taking them down.  Because these late-game battles incur heavy casualties, it's also easier to raise new capital ships to higher levels to replace the dead ones.  If you keep momentum, your capital ships no longer need to worry.  It's not that they're harder to kill, it's that they're now easier to replace so it's no longer worth the enemy's time to go to such efforts to snipe them.

so it is advisable to put capital ships under a differnt hotkey group

i'm finding that i start to run out of hotkeys, its awkward to reach beginning at 7. it also makes it difficult to start a separate battle fleet

I usually don't put capital ships in any fleet or hotkey...I select them from the empire tree...I make fleets based on ship types...

When I need to select lots of ships at once (like to retreat) I will simply select all ships with a click and drag over my fleet or I'll zoom out and click on the planet to select all my ships...

suddenly my entire fleet of assailants came under attack simultaneously and all were damaged some were killed, it was against a tec, it had a marza and an akkan with assorted frigates and hc and light carriers...how could this have happened?

It's the Marza.  At level 6 it gains the "missile barrage" ability that can attack every enemy unit in a large area of effect.  He can only use this once every few minutes, so you can simply run out of the area of effect.  Alternately, you can try to disrupt it.  The effect will end if the Marza is hit by a disruptive strike from a Kortul, or "phase out hull" from an Antorak.

why am i running out of money in the early game? i barely have enough money (including the amount that i get from selling metal/crystal) to develop planet population and build labs and a some kanraks, maybe im trying to get trade too early...

Trade requires 4 civic labs as Vasari.  That's going to take up all your starting resources plus all your income for the first few minutes just to get your first trade port operational, and even then that's an investment that could take 20 minutes to pay off.

Yes, you're definitely jumping into trade too soon.  TEC is the only faction that jump into trade immediately, and even then only on fast or higher income speed.

how good is the discharging missiles ability

also, i've found that the vasari starbase's weapons, with the exception of the disintegrator beams, don't have an impact effect...is this a glitch

Very good; if you're going Assailant/Sentinel, it's a must-have.

No clue on Vasari starbase weapons.  I've never noticed anything with them before.

you mean you see a particle effect when they hit, or you havent looked at them up close?

I have looked at them up close, I just never bothered to take notice of a particle effect.  I don't know whether there is supposed to be one or not, and it's never caught my eye.